was reading a fr's blog..
realise tat she just remove her 20+ wks foetus..
this is her 3rd unsuccessful pregnancy.
she's in pain.. cos she likes/wants kids alot..
dear sis, if u r reading my blog,
u have to be strong n be positive!
i face the worse situation of all..
i cannot be pregnant at all now..
i wont be able to have my own baby
(unless test-tube + surrogate in other's womb = Not confirm have baby, + need alot alot of $$)
As I'll be facing the same problems too..
n its a forever problem...
i wld express my thots abt the issues..
she mention
1) she feels out of place when gathering w frs who have kids..
My thots:
-Real frs will not say/do things tat'll hurt ur pride.. i'll let them know of my situation if they do not know beforehand. OR at least some of them will know my situation.. so that they'll be more cautious when it comes to baby issues...
-Inevitably, mummys n mummys will definitely say/discuss things abt baby/child edu etc.. so some high EQ frs who know abt my situation can try to change topic etc... (so frs.. take note k.. haha)
-But sometimes also hard to control the topic, so most importantly, i have to "tell my mind" tat dun be bothered/feel pai say/feel inferior cos i do not have kid..
-OR i'll jus tell them politely/jokingly "can we chat other things ah :)"..
having kids also very headache one..
-but i think it'll also be interesting to hear some baby topics as a general knowledge..
SEE.. all depends on how i control my mind n mood...
2) duno how to handle when relatives keep asking "when u'll have kids", "married so long, no kids" etc..
so mite as well dun go CNY gathering etc..
My thots:
-distant relatives who duno my situation will always ask such qns.. it is not their fault.. its jus human std qns..
-i'll Either tell them the truth (if i they r close enuf..)
OR I'll "play"/mixed up/logical-lize their mind..
-i'll say things like "aiyo i prefer 二人世界", "got kids very 麻烦", "wah kids nowadays very hard to teach", "having kids need alot $$ now hor", "got kids dont guarantee they fillial", "trying hard now leh.. but dun have, very sad leh" etc..
then relatives will agree one.. human mind thing ba.. then thet'll say kids problem..
-if i say very sad dun have, they'll empathize instead.. (at least from the front.. maybe at back will say bad things.. but i duno n dun care lor)
-reason to shun the qns i guess the purpose is to maybe "save"/protect parents-in-law's face.. cos duno how in laws will feel/react when their relatives ask.. or duno in law wana let them know or not.. my own relatives all know liao.. my in-laws side only a few know ba..
3) avoid attending baby showers
My thots:
-ppl standard sure ask too..
-same ans as (2)
-or stay awhile then leave...
-if fr is close, then i'll jus b happy for her la.. with abit if envy..
all depends on how i control my mind n mood again..
so sis, u must must must rem
-u still got chance to get pregnant one..
even the slightest %, u can still get pregnant..
i cant at all..
-u can try test-tube baby..
n be put inside ur own womb!
-u have supportive husband who didnt forsake u
-the positive side of not having a kid is u dun have to face future kids problems!
(education problem, worried juvenile delinquent, will they be fillial in future)
-for me, i'll never get menstration problem.. haha..
pls dont let ur emotion spiral down...
have a BIG BIG CRY out..
then stand up n be strong!
Hugssss...
and frs who had unsuccessful pregnancies...
PLS rem u r not in the worse situation k..
-------------------------------------
i can adopt kids..
i can be god-ma to my frs' kids..
i can be super close to my bro's kids in future...
(jus like im closer to my gu gu than parents.)
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