31/8/2010

yesterday nite i kinda emo..
when dear home late at nite, he help me wipe body n wash hair..
i cried.. cos i feel so useless.. cannot do things myself..

today my funshion duno why..
got virus.. means i cant watch shows..
sadder.. cos i'll b more bored.

but a "happy" news came.
my illness claim is approved!

im having mixed feeling..
happy = got $$$
at least its a gd news amongst my misfortune.
sad = $$ is exchanged by my health.
and i still hav to go thru chemo/radio treatment..

but consider myself lucky tat im fully covered..
my hospital bill also approve liao..
phew..

INSURANCE IS REALLY V IMPORTANT!

30/8/2010

jus now went see my doc.
he said although i've removed whole uterus, its almost 90% cancer cleared.
but also means still got abit chance tat got cancer cells lying around.

so he suggest maybe instead of waiting for myself to urine, can try go for few shots of chemo 1st.

im scared.
cos im already so inconvenient with a urine tube, plus i need to go chemo.
im scared of the side effects..
vomit, hair loss etc..
plus a troublesome urine tube which i scared will drop out..

why do i have to go thru all these..
sob..

29/8/2010

today suppose to try urine myself.
but still cant.. sad..
today is 2 wks after my surgery..

the cut at my stomach is healing rather fast i think..
only abit pain n muscles ache..
also bloated n big tummy..

i wish 1mth faster come..
so i can urine myself..
the urine tube is causing me alot of inconvenience..
cannot go out.. pai say to let ppl see me..
walk must press on the tube cos scared it drop out..

today doc ask me try every 2 hrs to try self-urine.
since cant..
i'll have to release the switch to let urine flow ownself.
jus now i act smart la..
delay the time to 2.5hrs..
then the urine overflow at the tube opening!
it makes my dressing wet!

i gan jiong...
lucky dear calmly help me change dressing..
its his 1st time changing the urine dressing.
phew lucky he manage to change it nicely.

27/8/2010's thots

today im in rather gd mood.
cos finally found an armchair from ikea tat wont cause my butts n spine to ache!
i can sit down to read or use laptop for longer time..
sitting down is also a problem ah...

also finally 1 more day passed..

my eyes keep looking at indoor things..

i scared got shortsighted ah..

i can watch online shows with this chair!

Everyday at home

Duno why, every morning as I wake up, I'm feeling abit down n low mood.
Like wat m I gona do today?
When can I recover?
I can read books but time seems to pass slow..
Now I wish there's only few hrs to a day n not 24hrs..

Why is my tummy so big?
Will it subside?

home resting 23-8-2010 till can self urine

my hospital bill is ard $22k...
lucky its all covered..

-i like natural air.. no aircon..
-bought a new single bed as my room's bed is too low.
-i prefer hse bed. hospital bed too soft n bulky, so difficult to climb up n down the bed.
-walk more when at home. but cannot walk too much
-sit, butts ache.. somehow its just different from normal person sitting..
-sleep too much, back ache...
-cant slant sideway to sleep.. torture!
-cant go out cos got urine tube

-my dear husband is sweet to max..
he did things he never/seldom do over the 8 yrs we're together...
he wash plates, help me drain urine, help me wipe body n wash hair, be a maid to me, ask him take this take tat, handwash towel, help me clean my wound, sleep on floor with me without aircon at the other room and many more...

so now i have to wait till i can urine myself, then can go radio n chemotherapy..
look fwd to the day i dun need the urine tube!
its troublesome..

my thots n wat happen in hospital

im very blessed tat everyday alot of ppl come visit me.
my dear frs and colleagues...

i have very loving families, my 3 aunts n my uncles..
da gu n 2 gu almost come visit me everyday though its so far.
i feel so sad when i grandma come visit me..
auto tears will drop.. cos i can feel her pain when she see me lying on bed...
im being brought up by her.. always eat her healthy meals, so she dun understand why i gana cancer..
i feel so sad to let her feel sad for me.
she's already 83 but have to see grandchild like tat...

im so blessed cos i hav the best husband in the world.
he did not mind tat i cant bear him a child..
he took care of me everyday in hospital, stay overnite everyday to acc me.
even though now im at home, he still come home very early everyday to acc me.

im very fortunate to be in this industry cos i can still get my $ when i cant work for few mths.
i also insured myself alot cos i know the importance of insurance.
if im not in this industry, i will not insure myself so much..
although i duno can claim or not..
at least i got peace of mind when hospitalised cos my hospital bills are covered.

this is my urine pack n blood container.
i've got 3 holes with 3 tubes at my stomach..
now left 1 urine tube...

my oily hair in hospital...
ewww..

clara come visit...

the luxurious toilet...

mine is single bed.. so have more privacy..

tv..

 the bed/seat tat dear sleep on everyday..

my dearest sweet husband..
he always wana make me laugh but i cant..
wound will be pain..

 me drinking milo on bed..

 brush teeth on bed..

 my pink fluffy... 2 gu buy for me one..

one of the hospital meal..
the food quite nice..
got menu to order wat u want

 scrubbing my face... din wash face for few days in hospital..

 doing my mask...

hospitalisation days 15/8/2010-22/8/2010

Day 1: sun (15/8)
Wertheim's hysterectomy sugery
On drip.

Day 2: mon (16/8)
Can sip sip water.
Can sit up abit on bed

Day 3: tue (17/8)
Try to stand, but giddy, can sit on chair.
Stomach air running ard.

Day 4: wed
Can eat soft meal. Remove drip.
Can fart!
Can stand with abit more strength than yesterday.

Day 5: thur
Can eat full meal.
Can walk from left to rite side of bed!
After dinner, I can pass motion @ toilet!

Day 6: fri
Can walk to toilet to pass motion.
Can shower today!
Can wash oily hair.
I'm so happy.
But when doc came in @ 9+am, he told me my result is out. I need to do radio n chemotheraphy.
I'm really v sad.
Cos I thot I'm progressing well.

Day 7: sat
Learn to urine myself instead of using the tube to urine.
Have to go toilet every 2 hrs to try to urine. There's a switch at the urinary tube to block the urine from flow into down the tube, so I can accumulate in my bladder to try to urine normally. But nothing come out.
Thereafter goto release the switch to urine thru the tube.

Day 8: sun
Doc say I can discharge tmr!


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LEEP biopsy 7/8/2010

LEEP biopsy is a day surgery.
I did it @ mt alvernia.
Its jus a 40min surgery.
Its to remove some sample from cervix to see wat stage.
Usually there are pre-cancerous cell call, CIN1, CIN2, CIN3. Then cancer stage 0, 1a,1b1,1b2,1b3,1c, 2,3,4.

Est bill shd be $2700-2800.
My original bill @ kkh for laser cone biopsy is ard $3000.
So of cos go to this private doc la..
-mt Alvernia day surgery allow family n frs to enter the day rest rm.
Kkh day surgery dun allow ppl to go into day rest rm.
Ard afternoon I left hospital.
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2nd advice with Dr Lim Teck Chye. 6/8/2010

I continue my daily lifestyle of meeting clients n doing hsework etc for these 2 days.

On 6/8, fri, I went to da gu's gyne for 2nd advice. I bring along the colposcope report from kkh.

He's Dr Lim Teck Chye
Tow Yung Clinic
19 tanglin rd, tanglin shopping centre #05-01 s247909 tel:67374433

Duno why, but I feel v comfortable with him. He's 60+, full of white hair, big n gigantic, but very fatherly feel. He's got 40yrs of experience in gyne n female illness thing.

My KKH doc is female, maybe ard 35-40. She's also a specialist. I'm under specialist even though its KKH. She's nice but I feel tat KKH waiting time is very long, n she can't talk much with me, cos really a lot of patient outside. Not so much of personal touch n feel.

Anyway Dr Lim give me very assured feeling tat he'll make sure he'll take v gd care of me. He also say even whole womb remove also have baby. Surrogate mother. But sg dun allow. I know he jus wana make me feel "still got chance for baby" feeling. Funny hor..

He suggest I do the biopsy the nxt day, 7/8, sat! How fast, nxt day can do liao!

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Diagnose with cervix cancer 4/8/2010

Wed, Today I went to kk to see my colposcope result.
I saw the report stating carcinoma in situ.
I knew I gana cervix cancer.

I'm really sad.
However, doc unable to tell wat stage, hence she arrange me to do a laser cone biopsy the following thur (12/8).

I went home, told da gu n 2 gu.
Da gu ask me go for 2nd advice.
She referred me her gyne

My thots/feelings:
-mix feelings
-my illness cover is alot alot, hence if its claimable stage, I'll be able to claim a lot of $$. Funny I even ask kk gyne will I be able to claim my critical illness insurance
-my hospital plan is 100% private hospital coverage, hence I'm also in "peace of mind" when it comes to hospital bill.
-but I'm only 30, no kids yet.
-duno how dear n his parents will see me.
-i chk online n found out if I remove my whole utuerus, then I cannot get pregnant.
-wat will tat make me? Not a woman anymore?
-luckily dear is ok without a kid. We dare not tell his parents yet. Since duno how bad is the cancer.
-i feel really fortunate tat dear is v understanding n dun mind not having kids.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

top 10 myths and facts

chk out this link..
interesting..

birthday activity-doing pottery 31-7-2010

went to clay street pottery to do pottery for yx's birthday activity..

its our 1st time doing..

excited..

the original clay..

i use auto feature to take pic..

hands too clay-ish to take pics..

i wana make a bowl for yx..

we all do 1 for yx to put at her hse..

so nice for birthday present hor..

wah.. my bowl not ez to make oh..

us...

tada... my product..

see inside...

i intend this for yx to put keys or misc things at door area..

the half finish product..

will send for heating..

then will gather another time to paint it...

mine..

lifen's one...

her idea is a to do a aroma container..

theme is lion..

see the lion paw and tail...

zp is a pen holder?

hy do cup?

cute penguin design..

beautiful vase..

us having fun..

all out products..

"ohhhhh.. my love... my darling.."

i think its a fun activity to do w frs..

so go oh...

its abt $50/pax..

click the link above if u wana go..

Barcelona 3/7-5/7 & 7/7-12/7 2010

after madrid, me n dear come barcelona..

we travel by plane, 1hr 10min flight..

abt S$150/pax

we decide to come earlier cos we'll not have much free time during the convention date..

this is our hotel "Hesperia Ramblas"..

its just at La Ramblas..

La Ramblas is a must walk street in Barcelona..

see the beautiful simple room..

love this hotel cos got free internet n the "feel/aura" is just rite..

inside safe got main plug...

how thoughful ah..

can charge hp or ipad while kept inside

our 1st meal of the day..

we 2 drink a jug of "sangria"..

its a famous cocktail drink..

must try...

me n dear got abit high by drinking 1 jug..

ordered tapas..

this is the restaurant..

"Taller de Tapas"

specially recommended by the hotel recep..

this is another must go place..

"Sagrada Familia"

its been built over 100 yrs..

n now is still building..

its main architect is Antoni Gaudi..

one side of the catheral..

i like this side.. very antique, old look..

we borrowed headset to listen to the history...

they have guided tour...

got stn 1,2,3 etc...

the other side of the catheral...

more modern structured...

i think its only 2/3 built...

probably another 20-30 yrs then can finish ba..

inside of catheral...

i like the ceiling...

below is the REAL ceiling..

the ceiling below is a mock up structure to portray the real building..

when light shine from outside, it'll go thru the "lotus" pattern and create a very natural n beautiful lighting for the church..

see dear standing at the mock up bldg..

very real hor..

the pillars..

still in construction..

go up the bldg..

construction inside..

the artifact..

the office where they do up the mock up structure..

this shd be the full structure..
now is only like half the height..

the famous antoni gaudi..

another amazing structure by gaudi..

i call it the flintstone bldg..

haha..

look like flintstone hses hor..

their wet mkt..

the yucky salty smell..

colourful man...

fruits so colourful..

sweets..

seafood..

flea mkt...

old time roller blades..

the famoud street..

"La Ramblas"..

got arts..

silence performance..

idea hor..

no head?!

ewww...

must donate $ to take pics..

they also poor thing la..

so hot still have to wear so much..

cute "mushroom" tortise

florist...

fruit juice

on 5/7, me n dear proceed to Valencia..

on 7/7, we r back to barcelona again..

our convention hotel is at "Hilton Diagonal Mar Barcelona"... 

 

our train from Barcelona to Valencia..

seat is like airplane 1st class hor..

so spacious..

can eat inside...

 

shopping spree at barcelona..

bought LV..

keke..

hotel recommend us meal at "Cats"..

quite full one..

need to call book 1st..

they serve tradtional catalunya food.

black ink squid paella.. nice..

after eating this, shit also black one..

duck...

steak..

my LV buys...

high heel 490Euro (S$882)

flats 290Euro (S$522)

belt 290euro

bag for dear's mum 560euro (S$1000)

suddenly a noty face pops out..

anyway LV shoe really cannot buy one..

my paris bought one after some time expanded..

now its 1 size bigger...

hard to wear cos keep slip out.. 

n this brown heels is comfy but too stiff to walk fast..

behind keep slip out too..

argg..

saw icebar brochure.. so told dear i wana go..

i've always wanted to chk out such place..

this icebar is along the beach..

the sagrada familia ice structure..

yeah..

the look like DJ waiter..

ice glasses..

really will melt one..

ice curtain..

north pole bear... keke

noty dear put ice glass on my face.. he wana stick it on my face..

the temperature..

anyway they only provide gloves n jacket..

no pants...

so in case u wana go, rem dun wear skirt..

the chill out place n restaurant along the beach..

Pru brought us tour winery...

olden times machinery..

brew wine seems like a long process of tilting the bottle at different angle to settle down the residue..

the amazing underground wine storage place..

its natural cooling! no aircon one..

its like a maze... will get lost one.. cos too big..

got train to bring us to tour inside the tunnel..

see how long the bottle has been lying here..

all the thick thick dust..

wine tasting..

i super enjoy this tour cos its rather exclusive n i always wanted to visit winery..

then we go montserrat..

its at high altitude..

is also a tourist attraction to see the scenary n black virgin mary..

lunch...

not nice one...

queueing up to see black virgin mary..

this is the black virgin..

nice view!

scary too...

this is Executive FC dinner..

exclusive to those who do well only..

we have more n more long term successful FC..

this is the place..

quite nice hor..

this kind of setting is standard one..

small token of appreciation from pru..

PTO lunch place...

simple outlay..

its the best meal in spain...

its in a inner lane along La Ramblas..

strongly recommend!

menu..

unique n nice..

one of the best steak i ever have!

Pru Gala dinner place..

us...

love love..

i like the interior colour n lighting..

romantic n soothing..

us giving support to new qualifiers

Pru games...

this is their traditional way of drinking?!

doing gaudi inspired project..

its fun!

we broke the tiles n mix n match to make it into nice pic...

its really not ez leh...

tada...

our gp's result..
can u see the fish n sun..

this is another gp's project.

this one got the best cos its really very nice n very well done
can see the seaweed?

some other ppl's..
simple hor..

finally got the chance to try riding the bull!

hey not ez leh..

i fall in less than 20s..

n easily got bruise..

am shopping and saw their "legal" protest..

history is ppl there recognise themselves as catalunya and NOT as spanish..

then i realise this place is taken over by spain..

originally they r catalun..

see the crowd..

its really alot of ppl..

nespresso..

zp n fen bought their coffee machine..
S$300+.

sg sell $500+

can sit there test their coffee when u buy something..

there are different coffee beans where u can smell the fragrance..

the different coffee powder...

nice colour..

i dun fancy coffee so din buy..

dear acting...

saw this lion dog in paris trip too..

finally...

my buys for the whole trip..

Loewe necklace (S$200) n belt (S$300+)..

dear gucci belt..

S$350

LVs

dear 2 pairs of prada shoe..

S$400+ each

finally home sweet home...

n surprisingly, the return flight got tv!

getting ready for the 10+hrs flight..

total damage:

dear hp bill $500

my hp bill $200+

deviation cost $900+ and $800+

shopping ard $5000

hotels, rent cars etc $2200

food $1000+

total ard S$10k for 2 person for 12 days..

heartpain oh..